It’s been a very hectic weekend and quite a shitty day.
Following on from messy divorces and house sorting, we are in the final throws of decorating the house in which we now all live. It occurred to me recently, that during my adult life, I’ve only lived in a “finished” house once, with my ex husband, & only “finished” because we were selling. I’m looking forward to having a nice house to come home to. A house the kids can be proud of, today it’s started to be realised, with curtain pole hanging and wallpaper hanging.
Unfortunately during our pushes to work hard, the kids have had a neglectful weekend. Today alone, the 7yo decided to take herself off around the village on her bike. Thinking she was scooting up and down the pavement outside, I went other to “check on her”. No where to be seen. We ran in shouting her name. The 10yo became fraught with worry. So was I and I was SO angry. Why didn’t I look sooner? 10 said “I couldn’t find her before”. “THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING??” I shouted. Bren shot off in his car. Shouting and frankly, scared as fuck, I rang the police. I was giving the description as Bren drove round the corner sticking his thumbs up. Shortly after, 7 sales round the corner on her bike. It maybe wasn’t even 2 minutes but it felt like hours. I’m sorry I wasted, albeit briefly, police time but God I was frightened and all I can say is, for the briefest off moments, the world seemed huge and I felt lost.
Then on what now seems a much smaller scale, 10 changed her phone pin to a password and hasn’t been able to type it in correctly since. Phone now on lock down, currently on a mammoth factory reset with apple.
I hope this is the grande finale on what has been a tough couple of years. I feel so sorry for 10. She’s a delicate petal as it is and she’s emotionally exhausted!
Tomorrow our floor fitter arrives and our home becomes homely. Our house starts to become one of which we are proud. Soon we will be able to draw the curtains instead of pinning and tacking remnants to the windows, we won’t be dodging tacks and staples in bare floorboards or struggling around paint pots.
We are nearly there and by God we deserve to revel in it once we are.